Growth in the waiting

If you know me, you know that I desire to be married and I pray quite a bit, well every day for my future husband. When I was younger, in my early 20s my prayers looked more like “ God, please send me a husband that’s cute” 🤦🏻‍♀️ But throughout the years they have progressed, I’ve become more patient in this season of waiting and growth. I started praying for more specific things like “ Lord, may he know and serve you, may he be loving and kind, be emotionally and financially able to lead us, etc etc”. When giving the wait to the Lord and trusting in him fully, he has at times put specific things on my heart that maybe my husband had going on or struggling with. So I’d pray “May he be patient and trust You and the wait, when struggling that he looks to you and has faith in the future. May he break off any relationship or friendship that is wayward or influential in a negative way” 

As I am finishing up my 29th year on this earth( I’m holding on tight to 29!)and still very much single, I’ve again found my “future husband” prayers evolving in this season. I still pray everyday for my dear and our future and for his journey and life before we become one but I’m taking time to look at myself in the mirror. Am I the woman my husband needs? Am I prepared to be a wife? I want my husband to be emotionally/financially ready but am I? Can I be or provide all the things this man needs to be successful? For us to be successful? So I started praying for my future husbands wife, myself! to be all that he needs, I pray for us as a unit, as a team and when we become one that we are just that, one! A covenant that God created. 

Soooo this weekend I was at a Men’s encounter and not a participant obviously 😂 I was in the back making sure everything ran smoothly! I have served at a men’s once before but had tuned out most of the teaching. This weekend however I periodically tuned in to what Pastor was saying and one in particular caught my attention. Actually I hadn’t planned on listening in and I was the middle of listening to a podcast when it randomly stopped and I noticed they were talking about Marriage. So my marriage longing heart was like oh yess let me see what these men are discussing! 😂

My takeaway is that Men need respect over anything else, I as a wife crave affection but what my husband will thrive on is my respect for him. When I look at the couples that I aspire to be like in the future they all share the common denominators of wife respecting husband and husband loving and being affectionate to wife! 

One other Takeaway from the weekend is that men cry and they share emotions! SHOCKING! I was raised in the belief that tears and really any kind of emotion is weakness. I even remember at one point in my teenage years being told “you’re a Lockett, we don’t cry”. It’s taken me 29 years to break that and i now 100% believe that it’s quite the opposite! It takes bravery and strength to cry out and show emotion, And right in that moment of clarity and truth I said to God “ father please never be there a moment where myself and especially my husband not feel free to shed tears in happiness or sadness. That we be 100% transparent with each other in all emotions, and that I as a wife support and respect my husband”

I’m just going to say, ladies seeing men praising God together, praying together, shedding tears, supporting and hugging each other is such a beautiful thing and it’s so sad to think that the world has brainwashed us to think it’s not masculine. I look forward to marrying a guy that’s man enough to cry it out! 😊

So I know Im rambling along but I just want to always encourage others in the season of waiting or longing to be married. We always see things that encourage us to pray pray pray for our future spouses but we often forget to get ourselves in the right place to be the other half of the equation! I also want to challenge people to be vulnerable and share your heart! 

Published by Amanda Marie

Lover of life, adventurer, daughter of the King, way tooo ADD and scattered at times. I laugh too loud, talk too much and post my entire life on social media. I'm a goal crusher, girl boss and here to change the world. I sing at the top of my lungs, drive with all the windows down and have watched pride and prejudice more then I care to admit. I belong in the mountains yet reside in the city and my hair is hard to tame. I'm random, I'm quirky, I'm just me Amanda Marie.

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